It was a blazing hot weekend. Not because of the weather change and summer heatwave but because I was fired up due to a string of events involving my child. And when it includes one of my family members, mama bear claws come out. I felt like the X-Men movie character, Wolverine. The six retractable, slightly curved, foot-long metal claws protruding as more incidents were occurring. My claws were out for blood. I'm not a violent person, but all kinds of violent ideas were popping into my head. Okay, maybe not physically violent thoughts but more passionate words. How could this person do this to my child? So much more is expected from this individual as this person has been a leader in my child's life for several years. Someone we trusted and someone we have a relationship with. There is a higher expectation when you're a family friend and especially when you say, "I see your child as one of my own." Baloney! Don't even pretend you have my child's best interest at heart. Don't even say those words when you don't mean it. Just don't!
With all the boiling discussions happening in my mind and with my family, I had to pause. I had to evaluate and reflect on what was happening. I had many; I mean several debates with Abba God. I interrogated Him with all the different ways of asking the proverbial question, "Why?" I didn't receive the answer right away, I'm not sure if I have the answer, but I did hear Him share with me that I needed to forgive this individual. Forgive someone who doesn't even realize they need it and probably won't ever apologize for it. It's true; forgiveness it's not for the offender but more for the victim. (Even though I wasn't technically the victim, I took up my child's offense.) I was growing to sizzling temperatures by the minute. I had thoughts on "play" and "rewind" in my mind all weekend. My heart was growing colder and more bitter. When there is an injustice to the innocent, I tend to become worse tempered.
After my wrestling match with God, I came to the point of forgiveness. I cooled off. God revealed different perspectives. For example, God communicated, more importantly, the life lessons. It's like a diamond that is fashioned by the heat and pressure of the earth. It's through time, the intensity of temperature and mighty force that forms the precious jewel. Or it's like someone who exercises and tries to build muscle mass. You will most likely not have bulging biceps with two lbs weights. However, if you consistently increase the weights, the resistance will eventually change your body structure. It's through adversity where you grow stronger in life.
Even though it's painful to witness, I'm grateful my child is learning lessons in the classroom of life. Another perspective God showed me was that this incident didn't just include my child but others. Sometimes it's not just about us but other people. Maybe God is revealing heart postures and issues in others and is using my child as part of their process. Who knows.
Like my child, you too may have a leader, coach, parent, teacher, counselor, supervisor, etc., (someone who demands respect) who may have accidentally or purposely hurt you (mentally, physically, and/or emotionally). Unfortunately, we can't control them and can only manage ourselves. Try to forgive early and move on to the other lessons. Don't give the person or incident a foothold to make you bitter or cold. It honestly only hurts you and not them.
Back to the Marvel character, Wolverine, you may remember he possesses many powers. Not only can he fight and use his powers to overcome others, but he can ironically heal, too. I have mama bear "claws" like Wolverine, but I also have the ability to heal. Forgiveness is healing, and that's one of the best powers to have.
**Even though we forgave this person, we're still in process. We are discerning the truth from the lies and finding grace in the middle of it.
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