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  • Writer's pictureitallstartsintheho


A friend heard my oldest was turning 18 on Friday, so she asked me for parenting advice. And this was my response... Parenting is no joke. I love my three kiddos more than life itself, but parenting them is tough. I say tough not because my kids are hard to love or handle, but that the action of "parenting" is challenging. When kids are babies, you naturally do everything for them because obviously, they can't do anything independently. And as they grow and become more mature, you tend to trust them to do more, and you do less. It seems like the nature of the ecosystem of parenting. Kids learn and develop more as they age so they can be more self-reliant. I noticed if you don't follow this rhythm, you actually make it harder and potentially worse for your children. The thought process looks like you're helping your children by creating bubbles of convenience and success, but in reality, you're hurting your children and harming their future. When we don't let our kids deal with the outcome of their choices, they tend to repeat the poor decisions until they experience their consequences. It's painful to be a bystander, but I think that's the disconcerting part of parenting. You don't want your child to hurt or fail, but they will. Please don't make your children's lives so convenient that they never learn to do life on their own. Teach it and model it for them, but don't do it all for them. I recently heard a podcast where a mom called her child's college professor and requested an extension for her child's assignment. The same professor blasted another parent for going so far and writing the essay for their child. We're not raising children; we're raising adults. Parent the child's current age, not just how we see them, remember them or even want them. My son will be an adult in a few days; therefore, he will have new boundaries and freedoms. It won't be easy, but my husband and I have to parent him where he is at and pray for him even more. Most importantly, I conveyed to this mom not to forget God is in charge, and He will take care of her children. Keep trusting Him throughout all the stages. Bottom line, He loves your children more than you do.

(Isn't it ironic how God parents us in the same way? He can do it all for us but He doesn't. He could take all the pain and hurt away but He doesn't. Because of His love for us, He helps us go through it and get through it all.)

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