By the time you read this post, I would have returned from a trip to Philadelphia. A quick college visit and some R and R. Weeks before the trip, I had a mental hiccup that created some anxiety. You may or may not be surprised, but I will backtrack a few steps and welcome you into my headspace.
Remember this blog post about Asians being attacked? If you don't follow it carefully, you will miss the horrible news that is still happening today. Asians are suffering from random violent acts of racial hatred. It's happening all over our nation, but the mainstream media is not broadcasting it. You have to search for it to find it, and when you do, you will be appalled and disgusted. Regardless of gender or age, Asian men and women are assaulted for no reason. They are heinous crimes on the innocent, and it's tough to digest. It's like you don't want to read anymore because it's so horrible, but you still do so that you're aware. Well, I guess I was reading more than my mind could handle. The more I read, the more fearful I became. I allowed anxiety to creep in. I became hesitant to go out and about with my business. I was even reluctant to make the trip to PA with my kiddos because of the "what if's." My imagination took a ride of its own.
I was very conscious of the doubt I was creating in my head because I purposely shared it privately with my husband. I didn't care for my kiddos to hear their mom being "afraid" since I'm the one who is constantly pushing them to step out of their comfort zone and not be fearful. So then, why was I? What is the root? How did I give it the green light to enter? When I shared my dilemma, a dear friend reminded me how we must protect our eye gate and ear gate and what we allow into our minds. When I studied the details in each article, I gave the devil a playground to create swings of anxiety and slides of uncertainty. The more I read, the higher I would swing in fear and the lower I would slide into doubt.
How could I slip like that when God tells us plenty of times in the Bible, actually 365 times (maybe that was done on purpose - one verse for each day out of the year), not to fear?
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." ~ Isaiah 41:10 NIV
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
~ 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." ~Joshua 1:9 NIV
God commanded me to be strong and courageous and that He will be with me wherever I go; when I believe His promises, I leave no room for any doubts or lies.
Now I use a practical system for my thoughts- red light, green light.
I start with the yellow light. I proceed with caution. If there's a check in my heart about what I'm thinking, feeling, seeing, hearing, etc., then that's a red light. I STOP what I'm doing and ask the Holy Spirit if that is a warning from Him or not. If I don't have any checks, it's a green light, and I proceed forward.
It's a simple system for the complex culture we live in today.
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