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  • Writer's pictureitallstartsintheho

Time Machine

When I was about five years old, I used to play with my dad's digital clock. I would observe him set his alarm clock every evening for the new day. You push the up and down arrow buttons for the designated time. I noticed that if I pressed the arrow buttons harder, the digital numbers would move fast, and if I tapped them lightly and incrementally, they would move slowly. When I was alone in my parents' room during the afternoon hours, I would play with it like a video game. I wasn't only fascinated by the bright illuminating turquoise lights and digital numbers, but I liked that it acted like a time machine. My young mind's imagination believed if I changed my dad's clock, it would somehow manipulate all the other timepieces in the world, specifically my siblings' classroom clocks. I couldn't wait for my siblings to return home from school so they could play with me—my forever playmates. If my pudgy stout fingers could turn my dad's clock to exactly 3:00 pm, when school was over for them, I thought all the other clocks would move forward too. I pictured the school bell ringing and my siblings walking through the front door at any minute. It seemed to always work because they returned home, and we had our usual playdate. I felt like a mastermind.

I wish I had those same powers, but instead of pushing time forward like I did when I was a kindergartener, today I wish I could turn time back or even hold it still. My youngest finished his last 8th-grade class a couple of weeks ago. He is no longer a middle schooler and no longer a homeschooler. My job as his classroom teacher concluded. Not only that, but my oldest son also finished his last week of high school, and we will celebrate his graduation in about a week. As proud as I am of both of them, I'm also reveling in all the emotions. It's bittersweet. (Pass the tissues, please.)

There are plenty of moments when I think we could've traveled or given the kids more if I had worked, but no vacation to Hawaii will replace my time being home with my kiddos. Their highlights and not-so-awesome moments will always be significant and be etched into my memory. I'm so grateful to witness who they have become and how they have matured. The lessons we learned together, the hurdles we overcame, and the milestones we accomplished are part of our family's legacy. I'm thankful to my husband for giving me the gift of staying home and investing in our children in this way. Everyone has a mission field; right now, mine just happens to be at home and with my children.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,

the fruit of the womb a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

are the children[a] of one's youth.

Blessed is the man

who fills his quiver with them!

He shall not be put to shame

when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

~Psalm 127:3-5

Even though I would like a time machine right about now, my husband and I are excited to witness where God will lead our arrows. May they go further, greater, and higher than we can ever imagine.

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