I shared last week that we moved my daughter into her first apartment. It was definitely a marking moment. Her next level of independence has officially begun. I applaud her for adulting right from the get-go - taking care of leasing and maintenance issues for her apartment has been frustrating, to say the least. The leasing managers seem to be taking advantage of the college students or not taking them seriously. For instance, they delayed the repair of their air conditioner in my daughter's apartment for a couple of days, causing an inconvenience. But my daughter's advocacy for herself and her roommates and knowing her tenant rights have made her relentless. She has kept my husband and me abreast of the situation and her progress. I wanted to step in and give my two cents on more than one occasion.
However, instead of hijacking the situation from my daughter and trying to resolve all the issues from the start, I have taken two steps in the opposite direction. My daughter has called the leasing management and dropped by their office a few times a day until she received the services they paid for. It has been distressing and time-consuming, but we're praying the grievances are past and they can sail smoothly forward.
Ever since the kids were young, we have tried to instill a level of independence. We picked Montessori preschools and agreed with Maria Montessori's method of education, which is hands-on learning and developing real-world skills. This method emphasizes autonomy and freedom of choice in the classroom, which is crucial for fostering independence. I personally agreed with it because it supported problem-solving skills and helped build confidence at a young age. As much as I agreed, it was a new learning curve for my husband and me. Naturally, as parents, we wanted to help and sometimes take over; however, we realized that we stunted their progress when we stepped in too soon or too often. A few times, we would watch them "fail" so they could learn from their mistakes, which eventually was a success because they used their experience to advise their younger brother on what not to do. It's like a domino effect. If we can guide our older ones correctly, they can directly influence the younger ones better than we can.
Our kiddos are turning 21, 20, and 17 in a few months, and I'm noticing we're cutting the apron strings little by little each year. As painful as it is to my Mama's heart, I'm grateful I can be in the position to do it.
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